How Do I Rate?

Before the Haney to Harrison race, I went in line to go to the Starbucks' bathroom.  I chatted with the person behind me as we waited.  I told him our team had a few ringers (i.e. top 10 finishers) and I facetiously remarked that I'm happy to just finish in the top 1/2 of my category.  He said, "that's fantastic!"

I'm surrounded by some really good runners but I'd never put myself in that category.  It's nice to have them as a runner role models.  Sue plateaued for a few weeks after the VIM but has been killing it since.  I can't believe I once thought she was reachable... but at the H2H relay she showed what she was made of:

	Overall	Place in Sex	Km Pace
Sue	31/198	7/72	4:22
Tony	41/198	29/95	4:48

I was pretty respectable on my portion of the race, finishing top 21% overall, and top 30% for males.  But Sue was top 16% overall and top 10% for females.  Her pace for the 13.5km was 26 seconds faster than mine for 13km.

I like to have reach goals. But she's kept on getting faster.

I recently completed my speed work for the year out of Forerunners.  I'd been at it for a month, I started off in the 50 minute group, but dropped down to the 45 minute one.  It's been a tough transition.  I'm near the back of the group and giving it my bestest.

I enjoyed running with the 50 minute group, but I knew that by leading the pack, it was not pushing me to run harder.  When I dropped down to the faster group, I found I have to push hard just to avoid being last.  I'm not sure if you need any more motivation than that.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I see how far I've come.  But I also have that twinge of self-doubt that chips away at my ego.

Sure I've gotten faster.  But then there's Sue and TLT... they have gotten much faster.

I registered for the Vancouver Marathon today.  Four months to train.  Mentally and physically.


"The smaller the mind the greater the conceit." -- Aesop

Trophy Hunting

During a recent outing, a very long time friend and I were discussing life, the universe and everything.  A bit of a preface... I feel it has taken me 40+ years to just begin figuring out what life is about, so by no means am I an expert.  But I said, for me, life is all about doing things that you've never done before... seeking out new experiences and getting everything you can from it.

He said I sounded like a trophy hunter.  Trophies, for you non-PlayStation 3 gamers are "achievements" you receive for doing certain things while playing.  Yes, they are virtual trophies, so they aren't tangible nor do they have any inherent value.  Also, the tasks are not along the critical path to completing the game, but more of a fun aside. In summary, they are little pieces of nothing.  So when my trusted old friend accused me of being a trophy hunter, I thought it made me seem a little superficial.

Well for me, my big pursuit is obvious.

In 2009, Boston sold out in late January, at the time it surprised many how quickly.  For 2010, it sold out in November 2009.  And now for 2011, it sold out in 8 hours.  My confidence of running a 3:30 is pretty high, as long as I can stay healthy, but with the accelerating pace of the sellouts, it seems that I may have to do better.

I bumped into a couple of running buddies last week and we had a quick discussion about it.  Beverly thought they should charge more rather than raising the bar.  I don't agree with that.  At $135, it is on par with the a major marathon, but 1/2 the cost of NY.  But I believe that Boston should be "good" runners and not just OK runners with money.

If Boston raises the qualifying times, I don't know whether my best will be good enough.  I do know that come May 1 (VIM) I'll be prepared to give it my all.  I also know, when I'm done, and nothing is left on the table, I'll be proud of what I've done, where I came from, and what I went through.  Sure, it might not be enough, but in the end, I'll be delighted knowing how much I've gained, and the only thing I've lost??? Well,  just a trophy.

When One Door Closes, Another is Opened...

It's been an interesting last few days....

Monday, I went down to watch a few friends race the Turkey Trot.  The cool dry weather made me wish I had run it too, but alas I had a coffee in hand stood on the sidelines.  My running buddy, Sue, had a killer run and came in 3rd overall for women and 2nd in her age group with a time of 42 minutes!

After a brief running/training hiatus, she's been back with a vengeance.  I marvel at the fact that I once ran beside her doing speed work...

On Wednesday, Sharon, my coveted neighbour, told me she's tired of running.  I'm a little disheartened to hear her say that.  She's been really pushing the pace the last month or so, and she's started to show signs of wear.  I suggested she take a break from running for a week.  Fitness wise, it won't change much for her December 6 marathon, but it might allow her to recharge her batteries.  I think she could learn a lot from what Sue did.


So for me, I am a big fan of John Hill.  He transformed me from a mediocre runner to... well, something a little faster than mediocre.

The clinic restarted in September, but I was injured and decided against rejoining, and with my Victoria dreams gone, I wanted to commit to taking a couple months off "hard" running.

Wednesday evening, I planned for my first workout with Forerunners.  I was very nervous going in.  It's hard to explain why, but it feels like when you're back in school... and whether you made the cut to be on the "good" team.  With much trepidation, I ventured forth.

I arrived and quickly scanned the store.  About 50 people, pretty fit/young crowd.  I paid my $5 and was given a brief summary of what to expect.  Thankfully, there was a wide range of pace groups making me feel I'd be comfortable in my group.  As the groups were broken down by 10k race pace, I selected the "50 minute" group as I didn't want to push it on my first speed work in a month.

There were 6 or 7 in our group and we headed out for a quick warm-up and some light stretching.  I am not a big believer in pre-workout stretching, but I followed along... "when in Rome..."  But you just can't look cool doing horsey kicks!

The run was a pyramid, running for a short time, to a longer time, back to a short time, with equal breaks in between.  Pretty straight forward.  I didn't want to kill myself so I took it down a notch.

At the end, I said "hi/bye" to a few people and went home.  A nice change from hanging out in the wet/cold for 30+ minutes at JH.

I'm happy that I went and I'm already planning to be a regular.

The Joy of Running

I like to run.

Running is just me versus myself.  No stupid games, no drama, no hidden agendas.  If only life were that simple.

This is an especially nice time for me.  I'm not in serious training mode, so I can explore more.  Tuesday morning I trained with my daughters' XC team and then went for a jaunt through the endowment lands with some of the moms.  After the main run, I proposed an interval run of 1 mile to a splinter group.  The top finisher seemed very happy with herself and why not?  She hadn't run that fast since her college days... (she was actually 2 minutes faster then!)  The following day, CM and I were supposed to do some speed work, but instead we did a 6 miler at a "no man's land" pace[1].  But it felt great.

When the weight of goal oriented training is lifted, albeit temporarily, it's like a breath of fresh air.

I still don't believe in doing anything half-assed.  If I'm doing anything, I'm all in.  It's just now, I'm all into the relaxing/casual running.  It's kinda nice.

But in the back of my mind, I know that this ride is going to end.  And when it does, I'll be ready to jump in with both feet.

"The achievement of your goal is assured the moment you commit yourself to it.” M Douglas

[1] The pace between a long slow distance and tempo has marginal benefits for training.

Sarah Palin

Pardon this quasi-dyslexic post... that's just how my mind is working right now

One of Sarah's[1] many contributions...  I'm not retreating, I'm reloading.

I've decided I will not be running the Victoria Marathon.

It was a difficult decision.  Weighing my running ability versus my injury versus my age versus my desire to get a BQ versus eating tofurkey for Thanksgiving... well, maybe not the last one.

It's disappointing.

I'm not entirely sure what I'll be doing now.  I know I want to take some time away from "hard" training... but I also realize that I can't slack too much.  I want to hit the ground running in January, literally.

I might do a race... maybe the Fall Classic or something...  not sure at this moment.

Hindsight:
I wanted that little boost of speed that I was hoping to get it through the racing flats... and I have no doubt, that had I been able to adapt to them, I would have killed the marathon... instead, I got killed by them.

In a way, it I feel like Icarus... got a little too close to the sun.

[1] To be clear, I despise Sarah Palin.  She is everything that is wrong with western culture... but that's for another blog.

Busted Coveting My Neighbour's Wife

That's an attention getting title.

Coveting:

No, I don't covet her in the 10 Commandments way, but I certainly would want her running prowess.

A few weeks ago, we switched over to running flats and hence a modified gait.  I've struggled getting it down and I find myself still unable to naturally run landing on the mid-sole.  After the run on Wednesday, my calves were sore, again.  Not as sore as the first time, but sore nonetheless.  We did 12 x 400m and even with the short interval time, I found myself slipping in and out of the mid-sole vs heel strike.  I had to consciously think "oh no, I'm heel striking" and then correct myself to mid-sole, only to repeat the pattern many times.

Sharon on the other hand is running great.  She bought the Nike flats and has taken to them like a fish to water.  She naturally is running landing on her mid-soles, has no soreness afterwards and is steadily getting faster.

Busted:

I can't run.

Today's long run with Grace and Sue ended at 15.5mi of the 22 I had planned.

I had some shooting pains during the first 6 miles but stretched it out.  Then along the Spanish Banks beach run, the pain started coming back.  The hill up to UBC killed me off.  It was pouring rain and I was busted.  I asked G&S to go on without me.  They went to pick up my vehicle as I walked on.  I made it to an ATM and took refuge.  Along the freezing cold walk, I thought, of all the days to be lame, why one with pouring rain.

After a lot of suffering, we made it back to Starbucks and had a great story to share... or so I think ;)

Humility

I think I'm pretty humble.  Or by saying that, am I bragging?!?

I've ran with some pretty fast people and there's certainly 2 different paths you can take here.

I ran with sub-3 hour marathoners that can run beside you and just enjoy the company (occasionally, I can be viewed as socially tolerable on some long runs, but only if I want to be).  They don't try to push the pace.  Take Grace's fiancée, he is very modest.  He runs with her (she's my pace for LSD) and has never mentioned anything about his impressive racing accomplishments to me unless asked... even then he seems genuinely embarrassed to talk about them.

I was at Forerunners recently, buying my racing flats.  I was chatting about running with the gentlemen helping me.  He mentioned he has run a few marathons, but nothing more.  Just an all round nice guy.  Later, I'm chatting with John Hill, the guy turns out to be Art Boileau... Canadian Olympic marathoner, won the LA Marathon twice and came in 2nd for the Boston, PR of 2:13!!!!  BTW, I ended up buying the same pair he races in :D

And then I've run with others that have said, "this pace isn't natural, I'll need to run faster".  On another occasion, I've overheard one guy, to paraphrase, "finisher medals are for losers, you need to at least place in your age group".

I hope I'll never have the arrogance to make a proclamation that insulting.  Hell, I'm just happy I can finish some races.  I don't care if you walk the whole marathon, you're out there.  That's all that counts.

I know everyone runs for different reasons.  Some like to get more fit, others like the social aspect, some may even like the introspection running solo provides, whatever the reason, running can and does welcome you.  It's not about being gifted, or comparing effort, or any comparisons for that matter.  When someone in our group has run a BQ, we're all happy, there's not an ounce of jealousy.

"It is always the secure who are humble." - Gilbert Keith Chesterton

The Pain of Racing Flats

At the urging of John, we all showed up in on Wednesday's clinic with racing flats.  Amanda, Walter, and I actually had the same pair of Mizunos.

We ran 2x2mi.  I found myself slipping in and out of landing on my heels vs balls of my feet.  When I remembered, I danced across the seawall, other times, I felt myself plodding along as normal.  It felt a bit awkward but I was running great and hit my target pace of 7 min/mile.  First time in nearly 2 months.

But afterwards, driving home, both my calves seized up, anyone watching me making the short walk from the car to my home must have thought I was twice my age.

Friday came and my calves were even more sore.  I was supposed to go for my tempo, but knew that I'd be upset if I didn't meet the pace target and would probably use my calves as the excuse.  Saturday, they were still sore, bearable but sore.  I elected to give myself one more day off.

Sunday, I ran my tempo.  11 miles at 8 min/mile.  Happy I hit it and I'm once again feeling more positive about Victoria.  I'd like to get my tempo pace down to 7:45/mile... that'd make me feel I have a fighting chance of BQing.

I won't be running for a week, but thankfully I'll still be having a very good cardio workout while I backpack the West Coast Trails.

Drinking Kool-Aid?

Everything familiar has disappeared.  Once in awhile, I'm thrown for a loop.

Nearly every Sunday I go out for a long run.  When the mileage starts getting longer, I start packing some Gu.  For 16k and longer, I liked to start consuming them at the rate of 1 every 5 miles.  I felt stronger for having taken them, so I was pretty sure I was on the right track.

But a few weeks ago, I'm out for a 18 miler.  Sue had come out with me, and I remarked that she wasn't packing any gels, but I would give her one of mine.  She responded a bit hesitantly, but said, if she needed it, she'd let me know.  By the end of the run, she hadn't.  So I asked her why she's not taking any.  She said, John had told her that for our LSD runs, we shouldn't be needing them.  This was confirmed by him later.  He said, by taking them, we stand a good chance of upsetting our stomachs etc.  Although he did agree, we need them for racing.

Now at our last clinic run, he wants us running more efficiently.  He said we should all get some "lightweight racing flats"  He said they offer minimal support and promote landing on the mid or ball of our feet.  He spoke about running with our normal shoes we are braking every time we strike with our heels and further, the motion control weakens our natural gait.

Sharon and I went to Forerunners to look for some racing flats.  They had a bunch of Nike, 2 Asics, and 2 Mizunos.  Price range was $110-150... not exactly "cheap".  I really liked the look of the Nike... neon green, but they didn't feel nice.  The Asics felt great, but looked too similar to my normal running shoes.  I ended up buying some flashy Mizunos for $109 (or 119??).  They fit nearly as well as the Asics but looked cooler... and as you know, I'm all about image.

Last week's 20 miler, I took in 2 gels, down from my regular of 4.  I'll be doing another 20 miles tomorrow.  I'm not nervous about dropping down to 1.  What has me a little anxious is converting to the new running style.  While I heard of Chi running, I just took that the heel strike was better at reducing injury.  It gives me an unsettling feeling that what I thought was right... wasn't.

"With most men, unbelief in one thing springs from blind belief in another."- Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

You've Got Some 'Splainin'

I'm at a loss.

About a month ago, I came back from my Eastern Canada road trip.  While I was there, a heat wave going on and the running was extremely hard.  I attempted all of my scheduled runs, but found I could not complete them at the targeted pace.  I accepted that.

My first week back, I nailed the tempo.  All was good.  Or so I thought.

Since that time, 4 weeks, I haven't been able to hit my targets, finishing up 15-25 secs/mile off... instead of a 7:45, I'm now hitting a 8:10/mile.

I'm looking back at the last few months wondering what happened.  I'm not sure what changed.  My diet was interrupted during the trip, but has returned to mostly the same.  The temperature has been warm, but others in the clinic are hitting or getting close to their targets.  I don't feel my level of effort has changed and I continue to push through each of the runs.

After VIM I felt so confident I'd get my BQ for Victoria.  Following my return from Peru, I was nailing my tempo runs and PB'ing some of my speed workouts.  But, these last few weeks have been very difficult for me mentally.

Tomorrow, I'm changing up my venue for my tempo.  I'm doing a beach run instead of the regular UBC area.  I'm targeting a 8:05... not great, but better than I've done in a month.

Finally, I've been reluctant to blog, as the impetus was to be an inspiration.  I didn't see my current performance to be at all inspirational.  But after speaking to a reader about this capturing the ups and downs, I decided to pen this entry.

Note: I'm planning to do a quick update after my tempo run.

Update:  I did my 10 mile tempo run.  Went down to Jericho/Kits area, nice cool-ish day.  I ended up with 8:00.  I'm pretty happy.  I have some ways to go, but at least it's an improvement from my previous efforts.

I Hurt

It's been a tough week...

• Wednesday, track workout.  I did well, but my legs were very sore for days.  
• Friday, tempo run.  I was supposed to do 9 miles, but could only muster 6 miles.  I'm blaming my soreness and the heat.  It's good to find excuses :P
• Saturday, Grouse Grind with my girls.  They both hit PBs of 1:09 (R) and 1:10 (C)!
• Sunday, an 18 mile run
• Tuesday, BCMC trail solo.  ~1 hour
• Wednesday, track workout again

Why do I put myself through this?

I sometimes wonder what makes me tick.

I'm pretty sure I'm not "normal".  I don't wear that label with honour, it's just a fact.  I don't make an effort to think different.

I do know I am willing to take some risks if the downside is pain.  I enjoy going mountain biking on the edge of my skill, I like to push my luck snowboarding.  Injuries?  Hmm... two sprained ankles, broken fingers, broken hand, 2x bruised ribs, and of course countless bruises, cuts, and a few near concussions (i.e. strained neck from my head hitting the snow so hard).

I view life as a collection of experiences, not a collection of goods.  The saying, he who dies with the most toys still dies, strikes a chord with me.  Sure, not all experiences are pleasant, but from each new one, you learn some.

But what is the alternative?  Biking or riding at a leisurely pace???  I've tried and just can't do it, it's too boring.  I don't understand why people hold back.  If I'm in something, I'm in.  In for a penny, in for a pound.

I am different.  I accept pain and discomfort as a price to pay for living life.  So yeah, I hurt, but I have no regrets.

Fun Time is Over

Time to get serious.

I've been a ramblin' boy for the last few months.  But I am settling down now...no more trips to the Amazon, no more visiting family back East during a heat wave, and certainly no more poutines with mushrooms and onions (Mmmm!)

I'm running a better now than ever before.  I ran a PB mile recently and have had strong track workouts since.  I know I have my work cut out for me in order to still push it to get my BQ in Victoria.  

My weight is the biggest thing (pun intended) I need to work on.  My VIM weight was 144, I'm now 148.  Four pounds may not sound like a lot, but carrying it for a 26+ miles is another matter.  I'd like to hit 144 again for Victoria, but I won't complain too much if I can even hit 142.

My strategy is pretty simple, just ease up on the bad food.  My recent trip to Ontario and Quebec was tough.  A lot of eating out, a lot of poutines, and a lot of generally less healthy food than I eat normally.  I need to get back to my whole foods and then I'm hoping my weight will start coming off.

As always, it's a tricky balancing act of losing fat and not muscle. 

I'm Hot

I had previously thought I was pretty good running in the heat.  A trip to Hawaii changed that.

It was in early November, cool by Hawaiian standards, but I was going from freezing temperatures in Vancouver to high-20's.  I had run RVM about a month prior.  I felt pretty good running in the coolness of Vancouver, but a tempo lap around Diamond Head proved too much.


I'm in Eastern Canada right now and the area is going through a heat wave.  Ottawa was cool, but Toronto, Quebec, and Montreal have been down right muggy.  The temperature is hovering around 30 but the Humidex shows that it will feel like 40+  My longer runs have proven to be, er... disappointing.  A slow six miler had me stopping 2-3 times, my speedwork was way off pace and my tempo was slow and shortened.  I can unequivocally say, I was suffering in all of them.  Also, I can unequivocally say that I suck in the heat.

But like most things that are uncomfortable, there is a significant benefit...


I love racing in the fall.  You get to train in warm/hot days, but then get a nice cool weather to race in.


I actually figured out why I was good running in the heat years ago.  I never pushed myself whether it was warm, cold or whatever.  When it was warm out, I had so much buffer that they were easy too.  


Now, when I run, I just do the best I can.

Planes, Trains, Automobiles

I'm doing my Eastern Canadian road trip..  Plane to Ottawa, train to Toronto and Montreal, and automobile to Quebec City.

My normal routes in Vancouver are well worn, so it's always kinda exciting running out of the ordinary.  For my first out of town run, I went to the track and did 400m repeats, but the next run was around my sister's neighbourhood.  I got lost.  I don't have a very good sense of direction at the best of times.  I'm wandering back and I'm slowing down 'cause I have no idea if I'm headed in the right direction, and lo and behold I spot a deer in the middle of the road.  The deer ran away, but for a second I thought, maybe I should chase after him, but then I thought, who the hell am I, Bear Grylls?

I really do love running in new places.  It's fun to see new things.  And sure, you might get lost, but sometimes after getting lost, it might allow you to see some pretty cool things.

PS Happy Canada Day

Scotiabank Vancouver Half-Marathon

I decided to give back a little to the running community.

After having run in a couple of dozen races, I decided to volunteer for one.

I've always held admiration for the race volunteers.  They wake up early, cheering runners on through rain, sleet, or snow.  Their reward?  A shirt that says "Volunteer" on it.

I wanted to volunteer for a bigger race, but it had to be one that I didn't plan to do... SVHM would be perfect.  I ran (not raced) it couple of years ago and enjoyed it, but because of the significant downhill section, I have reservations about it being a "true" half marathon.  Some people may disagree, but this is my blog ;)

Prior to the race, I found out many of my friends/acquaintances were running it, this would make cheering and watching out for them, even more fun.  Let's see... Shawna, Eric, Dennis, Amanda, Jen x2, Adrainna, Tricia, Joe, Wynne, Tomoko, and Stella.  I'm probably missing some people, and even the above list, I still didn't see more than half.

Earlier I said that volunteers only receive a shirt.  But hardly.

I had a great time at the race.  Many of the racers would take a moment to say "thanks" or give me a thumbs up.  I even had some people cheering that chose to stand with me.  The couple at the beginning were waiting for their daughter and then for the 2nd half, a group of 3 came out with hand-drawn posters that the racers all smiled and/or laughed at. "No Wimps", "Running is better than therapy".

But perhaps best of all, I had two friends come by to support their fellow runners.  Sue brought me a coffee, which I certainly needed since I only had less than 4 hours of sleep.  Sue is a great runner friend.  She's always willing to help you out and inspire/motivate you to do better.  She used our location as a launching point to pace her/our runner friends.  Nancy came by too.  She was out for a 12k run, and only 2k in when she stopped for a visit.  She's been on a very slow road to running recovery, so it's always nice to see her out.  She too paced some friends.

Running is beautiful.  It's elegant in its simplicity.  One leg in front of the other, repeats a few thousand times.  But its beauty is in the diversity of people it attracts.  Nearly everyone can run.  It brings out all body shapes, the lean Kenyans, the sedentary couch potatoes.  The young and old.  Some are hoping to beat records, some are just out for a good time, and some are out there to enjoy camaraderie.

When the race ended, the bus dropped me back at UBC and as I walked, I thought to myself.  "I love to experience things that grow me, and volunteering today, is one I will cherish."

"Nothing measurable matters." - EE Cummings

Too Tired

Not sure what happened.

The clinic run was 10x400m.  John asked that I target a 91sec pace.  The first 3 were fast, too fast... trying to keep up with Sue wasn't the best decision.  The next 7 were slow.  On the last lap, I hit 94s.  I don't think I could have gone much faster if my clothes were on fire.

I gave it all I could, and it wasn't quite enough.

I really don't like that feeling.  I went home, feeling very melancholy.  The next day, I felt drained.  I tried/wanted to perk up, but just seemed unable.

When I chatted with John after the run.  He mentioned that he no longer competes because he's tired of it.  When he competed, he ran 12 times a week.  He won the Vancouver Marathon in 1978.

At first, I didn't understand why he stopped, but then I thought, it makes perfect sense.  How much longer would you want to be pushing your limits?  There's no cruise control when running/competing.  It's always a constant push for better/faster/longer.

I'm lucky.

I know I can motivate myself beyond this, I'll willingly suffer pain and humility when I know it is getting me closer to a tangible goal.

My dad used to say he was a dog, beat him, and he'd still come back for more.  That's tenacity!

Father's Day

I kissed Colette afterschool the other day and she said, "your whiskers are owie!"

That's one of my many childhood memories of my father, every time I kissed him, I felt his bristly whiskers.  I'm pretty sure I said something similar to my dad.

My dad was strong.  Physically and mentally.  He owned a grocery store, and as such, lifting/carrying sacks of potatoes and boxes of canned soup, was the norm for him.  He started working before 10AM and finished at midnight.  Not Monday to Friday, but everyday of every week of every year.  I'm still amazed at his single-mindedness.

As he got older, he changed from running a grocery store to a laundromat... how stereotypical can you get?  But it meant there would be lot less lifting, and fewer hours.

He was the proverbial underdog.  Living in a foreign country, couldn't speak the language, and uneducated, but he pushed through all that crap and by any standards was a success.

I try to take on some of these attributes. 

I know I'm getting older too.  I'm pondering if I should be getting eyeglasses, I have crows feet starting around my eyes, and I have enough grey hair to wish they still made Grecian.

As time is working to slow me down, it's also giving me an opportunity to get faster.  Every race I'm in, is marking a new PB.

I'm a lot like my dad, and also very different.

He never took time for himself.  He never had the luxury of exercising and he rarely watched what he ate.  I don't know if he had made those changes, would anything would have been different.  In the end, I guess it doesn't really matter.

Father's Day is in a few days.  It'll be bittersweet day for me.  I love being a father and watching my girls as they change from infants, to toddlers, to young girls, but this time also gives me pause to reflect.  I'm sad that I don't get to enjoy my dad's company and I'm really sad that my kids will never get to see him.

It's the Journey, not the Destination

I try to take in life with a more Zen-like view.  To immerse myself in the moment and finding intrinsic value in whatever I'm doing.

During the last two weeks, I did some self-reflection.... more like I was forced to.

Last week I mention to John that I get pretty anxious before tempo runs.  He doesn't like the sounds of that.  He says I'm running all wrong... I need to relax and just go out there.  He says, "the last thing you want to be is another P!"  He goes on to say that during the clinic/intervals, P does great, but come race time, he bombs.

Then this week, I mention to Amanda, the new girl, that after I qualify for Boston, no more running for me.  She replies, "Really?!?!  You're not serious?"  But I was.

I started thinking, that maybe I'm putting so much focus on my goal, I'm forgetting that I really need to enjoy what I am doing to get there.  I do enjoy running.  As a matter of fact I am very passionate about it.  The long slow runs let me take in the sights of  Vancouver while chatting with a buddy or three.  The tempo runs, I honestly like the way I feel... it makes me feel alive.  The interval runs are probably the least enjoyable, but after finishing, I'm feeling pretty darn euphoric.

I don't want to lose my focus but at the same time, I'm going to take it down a notch and really enjoy the road I'm on.

I was out for my Sunday run with TLT when we bumped into some of her friends at the beach.  We chatted briefly and one of them said to me, "nice day for a run."  I replied, "any day I can get out for a run is a nice day."

Un-Comforting Thought

I've taken the last two weeks off running, and as some of you know, I'm now winding down my excellent adventure in Peru.

As I want to keep this blog focussed on my efforts to run a BQ, I'll keep the Peruvian metaphors light... and short.

It has been a fantastic experience for me.  One week, backpacking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, the next floating down a jungle river at night in search of caimans.  Through it all though, there are some ideals that I will take away with me...

I don't like to be comfortable.  People grow from new experiences and challenges.  During my hike to Machu Picchu I was extremely fatigued, especially the first day.  It could have been the altitude (~13,000 feet), it could have been my lack of acclimatizing (less than 24 hours), it could have been the lack of sleep (2.5 hours... who could sleep before this adventure??), or it could have been that I was one of the few too stupid/stubborn to hire a porter (heaviest backpack), but I didn't focus on any of that.  I focussed on getting to our campsite.

One of my fellow campers asked, "is this harder than a marathon?".  I replied, "The last marathon I ran, I had no doubt in my mind I was going to be able to hold my pace and finish... this hike, I was actually considering giving in and getting a porter, which I would have considered as the ultimate failure for me."  (Please note:  I planned this trip with certain expectations for my fitness, and in no way do I wish to marginalize or diminish the other group members who elected to get a porter).

But with all my huffing and puffing, it forced me to take a moment, to take a breath and look out to where I was... soaking in the beauty of Peru.

I'll put this into my context of running:  I don't plan to be complacent.  I know, I have just over 4 months to get myself from a 3:37 down to a 3:20, 17 minutes.... being comfortable isn't going to be on my agenda.

"I am always doing that which I can not do, in order that I may learn how to do it"  - P Picasso

The Last 5 is Always the Hardest

Not quite 5 minutes, but 6:04 and I'll have my BQ for 2012.


I am feeling pretty good now.  Mentally.


Physically, I'm still pretty exhausted feeling.  A lady in a hand cart passed me on the sidewalk today.  My calves are very sore and could use a good massage, I also have a huge blister on my left foot (i.e. the "tingle").  But I'm feeling very good.


I knew if I was to have any chance at Boston, I'd need to get my time down to at least a 3:45 for VIM.  I am feeling great that I beat that by nearly 8 minutes.


For the next 2-3 weeks, I won't be running much.  I'll be doing the Sun Run with Ruby and one or two training runs prior, and that's about it.  I'm not too worried that the lack of running will have much of an effect on my fall marathon plans.  I'll have June onward for some pretty good training.


Is a 3:30 selling myself short?  Should I look at a 3:20?  Funny thing tho is a 3:20 for RVM, I still won't be able to register for Boston 2011 as it'll likely sellout in September.  But how great would that be if it didn't?  One of the fantastic things would be, running Boston together with TLT and Sue!!!


Let me ponder for a minute.........................


Make it: the last 17 is always the hardest!


"We choose to go to the moon in this decade and do the other things, not because they are easy, but because they are hard" - JFK

VIM Review

Weather forecast for today was cloudy,cool, but most importantly, dry... perfect.


I went down to the race with TLT and Sue.  There was definitely tension in the air.  We were all a bit nervous/anxious.  Well, maybe not all, TLT, who had watched Glee the night before seemed the most relaxed, but for her, she admitted to being nervous for the first time.  I had tried to go to bed too early, but my nerves got the best of me and I stayed up longer than I wanted for a 5:15A wake-up.


I started the run well, it was starting to mist, but I thought it would hold off.  Sue and I were thinking of running together, but she started off much faster than I felt comfortable with, so I stuck to my guns and started off at a Garmin pace of 8:15.


The rain started coming down, at times fairly heavy.  I was getting soaked.  I usually don't mind getting wet, except for my shoes.  My socks are great when they're dry, but once they get wet... ummm, not so good.  So after about 10 miles I felt the slightest of tingles on my left foot.  Do I stop, take a minute out and try to fix my socks, or do I suck it up?  Yep, suck it up.


I don't know what it is about Vancouver.  Victoria seems to get a lot more people out cheering.  Vancouver, although much bigger, just doesn't have the crowds coming out... must be too big-city.


It was fun to hear people shout my name and cheer me on.  But I was pretty tired and all I could muster was a half-hearted smile and a fist pump.  But a big thanks to my running buddies for showing up, although I was tired, I did perk up upon hearing my name shouted out by CM, Wynne, G&B, and Shawna.


At around 35km I see TLT coming back on the U-turn, followed a few seconds by Sue.  They are both about 3-4 minutes in front of me.  I'm squeezing every bit of effort out.  I'm exhausted, but know that I didn't come here to dip my toes in.  One of my tricks was to run up the hills at a good pace, short strides and try to not slow down too much, but on the downhill, just give it everything.  If I'm going to slow down for the up, I might as well make up for it on the down.


At this point, my blister was no longer a tingle.  It was damn hurting.  Thankfully, it was only every second step as my right foot was mostly good.  I wasn't going to change my gait, I know that once that happens, you start to compensate elsewhere and things go down pretty fast.  Pain or not, the show must go on.


The second crossing of Burrard St Bridge was tough.  I've run the bridge probably close to 100 times, but it never seemed longer than it did today.  Once I made it to the crest, I gave everything I had on the way down. With about 2k to go, my vision starts to narrow and I'm really hurting.  I'm too close to slow down now.


I can see the finish line now and I'm not going to let anyone pass me.  Normally, I ease up. but not this time.  I hear my name over the loud speaker, the announcer mentions that I'm beating my PB by over 30 minutes.  Woot!


I cross the finish line, and break into a gagging/heaving fit.  I'm happy, I know I've done good.


Official time:  3:37:03

Looking Good... Not Quite

Almost there... two sleeps away...


I bought new runners, Asics 2150's.  I'm hoping the new runners will make me run faster.  Well no, not really, but at least they are nice and shiny ;)


When I'm racing, I know I don't look very good.  I try to pay attention to my form, but aside from that, my face is usually covered with salt, sweat stains going down my back and road grime running up my legs.  I've seen enough of my race photos to know, when the going gets rough, I'm not very pretty.


Some people take great pics.  A friend, Joe, has a fantastic one where he is smiling directly at the camera while pointing with both hands in pseudo-gun fashion (looks a lot cooler than I can describe).  Wynne is a poseur.  She always takes great pictures, especially crossing the finish line.


Even when I try to look cool, I fail.  The first time I raced RVM, when I crossed the finish line I put my arms up in celebration.  Little did I know that after 4+ hours of my arms going back and forth, raising them was the last thing they wanted to do.  It hurt more than running the 26 miles.


For my last marathon, I showed a friend some of my pictures.  He replied, "I thought you'd dress better."  I didn't know I ever dress better, I just wear clothes so I don't get arrested for walking around naked.  


When it comes to running, I don't worry too much about what I wear looks like.  I do pay attention to anything that gives me any edge, real or imagined.  Usually it means tech fabrics (compression top), light shorts, and dual layer socks.  I'm fine if that isn't considered "good looking", cause "Function before form" has always been my motto.


With the marathon just around the corner, I'm feeling pretty good about it.  Maybe too good... I'm planning to run with the Sue, who is much faster than me, with the 3:40 bunny, and TLT is planning to start with the 3:45 bunny.  Am I crazy?  Two more sleeps and I'll know for sure :D

Time Machine

I wish things were simple.

I finished up my penultimate clinic run on Wednesday feeling great.  It was the notorious/infamous 2x2mi.  John said I should target a 7:05/mi... I didn't like the sound of that.  A few weeks prior, I did a 2x2, I was nearly a minute/mile slower.

When I managed to actually hit the target, you can understand why I was absolutely thrilled.

It's taken me two months to get back to where I was.

The second 2 miles was tougher, but I was trying to chase Sue down.  Just when I got close, she pulled away.  I think she was teasing me ;)  She's normally much faster and is actually not even in my league... but she's had a couple of injuries that almost brought her down to my level.

Sue is a fantastic runner.  She ran a 1:38, a PB, in the Historic Half, that extrapolates out to a sub-3:30... more than enough for her BQ.  At the time, I told her (semi-)facetiously, that I'd be disappointed if she didn't run a 3:40 for Vancouver.  However, in the coming months she nursed a nagging injury; add on a vacation, and you have the makings of doubt.

She's now targeting RVM for her BQ.

At the end of the clinic run, I mentioned to John, I was having a tough time with pacing for the last couple of tempos.  But he said, tonight's run was proof that I was getting my speed back.  He said I should probably target my race pace to be a bit slower than what my tempo runs used to be.  An 8:15/mi!!!  Now I am really confused.

I like the idea of challenging myself, but I also enjoy pain as much as the next guy (or gal).  An 8:15/mi was my goal 2-3 months ago... before my injuries.  I was thinking more of a 8:35-40 was going to be more realistic.  And this has me quite anxious.  I feel there's a good chance (i.e. 75%) I can manage a 8:35-40/mi pace for the marathon, it won't be easy, but it's within my grasp.  An 8:15 is probably pretty low (i.e. 25%).  But is that my negative self-doubts creeping into my mental calculations?

I understand, few people think they're ever ready for a race.  No matter what, it always seems like you could always use more time to prepare.  But for me, it's honestly a bit different.  A few months ago, I was riding pretty high.  I completed my tempo runs (12 miles at 7:45/mi) and feel I would have been better to race then.

Wouldn't a time machine be great?  Just hit the rewind button and no bruised ribs, no calf injury, and no missed LSDs.  No pain!

I don't like the idea of wimping out, nor do I like the idea of crashing and burning.  John set out my weekend long run... I was supposed to run 14 miles at race pace.  I decided to meet in the middle and run a 8:20/mi, 5 seconds slower than John suggested, but still 15-20 seconds faster than I was originally planning.

Sue ran with me.  An 8:20 fits perfectly for her BQ (which I personally think she has a good chance to do for VIM).  Thankfully as an equalizer, she logged a pre-run of 13km.  Even at that, she was pushing the pace for much of the run.

Obviously, there is no time machine that can erase the past. But I suppose this is what my blog is about.  Not about perfection, but battling through adversity and continue to strive for improvement.

Aside from being cold and wet, I felt pretty strong at the finish of the 14 miles.  Another 12 miles... tough one to answer.

This will be only my second time I've "raced" a marathon.  I've done two previously that I held back on.  I don't like to put myself on the line, but I'm going to do it now... I'll put myself out there and say, yeah, I'm going to target a 3:40 for VIM.

Hitting the Wall

Is this what it feels like to be bonking?

I ran 28km this morning.  It was a great run to Ambleside.  I don't run there very often, so when I do, it's that much more special.  I wish we had time to go to Savary Island Pie Co  but it was still a very enjoyable run.



After coming home and resting a bit, I needed to go for another run.


I promised Ruby I'd take her for a 6km run as part of her Sun Run training.  I really don't like to break a promise, and disappoint my kids.  My word is my bond.  


As we started our run, I cut down on the pace.  I wanted to make sure the run was enjoyable for Ruby, but just as importantly, also for me.  I was pretty tired when we set out.  By about 3km, I started sweating profusely.  By 4km, I'm still sweating and barely making the steps.  We make it to 5km, which just happens to be a school playground.  Ruby wants to play, and at this point, I whole-heartily agree.  We do eventually make it home.  She beats me!


I've been home for 4 hours now, and just beginning to feel good.  


I found I have limits.  I once ran 63kms over a 24 hour period, and I thought I was pretty tough then.  Little did I know, 6km with my daughter would do me in today.

I've Lost My Mojo

I'm pretty passionate about running.  But not today.


I was planning to hook up with Joc and possibly do intervals with her, but for whatever reason, we didn't see each other in the morning.  I ran to UBC's track to do my 8x800m, only to find a bunch of kids "using" it.  I did one 800m and was on the second lap of the 2nd when I felt bleh and decided to call it.


I tried to run home, but even then I just couldn't muster the energy and walked for probably half of it.


WTH?


I realize I can't have good days all the time.  When I do have a bad run, I am usually tired.  I've never been healthy and rested and been overwhelmed with apathy.  I constantly preach being either in or out, I despise indifference and here I find I'm wallowing in it.


I need to get my mojo back.  Tomorrow, I'm pulling out all stops, I'm going to run intervals at my favourite spot, Stanley Park, hoping it'll spark something inside me.


Not as inspirational as my other quotes, but applicable nonetheless:


"You know, what have we learned here today? Perhaps it's that no one can take your mojo. You can look around all you want, but what you're really trying to find is on the inside. Take care of yourself, and each other." - J Springer from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me


--
Update (Friday, April 16): I went to Stanley Park to do my intervals and despite a rocky start, I found it :D

Ifs and Buts

I don't know about you, but there's some things that can always make me laugh or smile.  The word "jugdish" cracks me up.  I smile when I see a bunch of sunflowers.  And it's definitely hard to be mad when drinking bubble tea /w pearls, of course.


Then there's post-races....


Most people, don't run races to their expectations, and will want to explain, why they failed.  Some are funny, "I would have done better but it was a really hilly course" for a race that is nearly flat except for an elevation loss.  Then there's the neighbour's noisy dog, the boyfriend kept calling, etc.  You need to stand there, with a near stoic expression, then nod your head, before turning away and laughing.


While some explanations are sad, "course marshal directed me the wrong way" or "I really needed to go to the washroom".


Regardless, I say, hold your head up high.


For the most part, we're weekend warriors.  Sure we train in the middle of the week, but none of us do this professionally our experience with any particular run is probably limited to less than 2 or 3 times, and most will be very lucky to have raced more than a handful of marathons (ie Bev).  It's hard to know how you're going to feel on race day and how the many variables will play a roll on what's a good pace.


On a recent tempo run, I told Fil I'd be back home in about 2 hours, 2.5 hours if it goes bad, but if I'm not home in 3 hours, I'm dead.  When VIM is over, good or bad, I know I won't have any excuses.  I don't want to finish and have any regrets.  For a race, it means, not leaving anything on the table.  No "woulda coulda shoulda's" and certainly no "ifs and buts".

Tapering Psychology

Tapering is a mixture of doubt, anxiety, and a pinch of fear

Saturday was my last long run before VIM.  I was supposed to do 24 miles, but I called it at 20 because I don't want to be in too much pain.  Even at at 20, I had soreness in my leg, the area below my calf, but above my Achilles.  I haven't been able to log a lot of miles with my bruised ribs.  Although, thankfully, I'm mostly healed.  A little sore doing chin-ups or push-ups, but at least I can sneeze without keeling over in pain.


CM, was my running partner for the Saturday run.  We were planning on doing 20 miles together, but she was having serious hip flexor issues, so by the 10mi marker I suggested it would probably better if she rests rather than forcing 24 miles.  Any running at this point has extremely marginal benefits.  Yet she kept on insisting she needed to run 24.

It's kinda funny, we train to build up a pretty good tolerance to physical pain, but nothing for the emotional side.  And running is all mental.  Did CM really need to run 24?  Hardly.  But for her mental edge, she thinks/thought she did.

My self doubt is this, do I set a goal for VIM?  I'm a bit confused.  Originally it was to get a sub-4, but that doesn't seem challenging anymore.  My tempo runs showed (note past tense) I was on a pace to run to a 3:36(!!) which would have been great.  But I'm no longer at that level of conditioning.  Do I even bother to set a goal... afterall, I mentioned in a previous blog that when you set a target and don't meet it, it hurts, not physically but emotionally.  Not sure if I want that pain.


CM and I talked it through.  I'm going to race a sliding schedule.  Go out comfortably and re-evaluate at each of the 5 mile marks and adjust accordingly.  So instead of setting a overall time target, I'm going to run the best that I can.  My real goal though is to have nothing left at the end.  And when it all boils down, if I'm completely drained, regardless of time, I'll be ecstatic.

Foot in the Door

Some friends asked me if I would consider training them.


They have been running for awhile but want to take it to the next level.  I said, I can help ;)

A have some caveats/concerns and I'm sure they do to.  

First off, I showed them this blog, to let them have some insight into my running mindset (i.e. how committed/insane I am).  I take pride when I help people develop.  Even from back in my corporate days, I enjoyed mentoring young people.  But I recognize I can get pretty focussed at times and put blinders on.  For instance, I view Boston as a project.  Timelines, Gantt charts, and critical paths are all part of my planning... not really, but sorta, since they are in my head.

Secondly, I will have to let them know of my last trainee, she was my greatest success as well as my greatest failure.  I helped get a friend from a 4:30 marathon (actual) to a sub-4 (calculated) which would have been her BQ.  I was feeling very good about myself.  But then things went astray when she started having leg/knee issues that stopped her training cold.  I'm not sure if my training schedule was too difficult or she had a predisposition.  Whatever, I'll take full responsibility for not being more empathetic and pulling back more on the training.  I recognize that my nature is a touch hardcore and I enjoy pushing myself and may occasionally project that on others.  I know I have to pull back on expectations.

Finally, as I said to them.  I'm not looking for someone that wants to dip their toes in the water.  "Do or do not, there is no try".  I plan to devote my time and energy to help them get their running goals, I'd expect no less in return.  I expect 3 days running per week.  Sure not every week, I realize life happens, but that should be exception.  Three days provides a strong base as well as time to develop.

After reading and discussing, if they are still willing, I'd be more than happy.


I'm stoked.

Kryptonite

I recently called someone my Kryptonite.


She would flip-flop on her decisions and that just drained me.


That got me thinking...


My clinic run on Wednesday was my first Kryptonite run.  It was 2x2mi, my normal pace is somewhere around 7:00-7:10/mi.  So taking into account my hurt ribs, I figured, I'd be good for a 7:30.  Went out pretty strong, but when the breathing got heavy I found myself holding my breath instead.  I fought the last mile just to eek out a 7:37.  Grace commented that I was leaning to my side as I ran.  On the second mile, I decided that I'd take it down a notch to ensure I had my form.  Even at the slower 7:55, I had to fight that.


I was running very slowly back chatting to another injured (but recently recovered) runner and we were saying how humbling today's run was.


With a month to go before Vancouver, I know I have my work cut out for me.


Friday's weather was cool, rainy and windy (i.e. "wind warning in effect").  Time for my second Kryptonite run, the dreaded Tempo.


I was able to hold a 8:15 pace (which is down :30 from my normal) but only ran 10.3mi of the 11.  At this point though my hands had lost all feeling and I was still about 3 miles from home.  Now, I've gone on cold runs before, I've gone on wet runs before, I've even gone on windy runs... but rarely all 3.  There wasn't much of an option, I just had to suck it up and run, albeit slowly, back home.  By the time I got home, my hands were frozen.  I soaked them in water, that I think was warm/hot, but in hindsight, I couldn't feel it.  After 10 minutes, I was finally able to wiggle my fingers.


I hated running today, I've never been so cold.  I was texting CM.  She is/was planning for a run today too.  I told her not to.


However, when I consider what I did, I'm happy.  I knew it was going to be a challenging run, but I went out and put up a fight.  I lost, but I'd still do it again.


Without Kryptonite, things would be too easy.  I need these challenges that get in my face and say, "I dare you".  I know I'm a better runner because of it.


"Between safety and adventure, I choose adventure." - C Ferguson

Basket Case

Preface:  By popular demand (i.e. one person) I was asked to blog about my diet and weight loss.

I am one of those, melodramatic fools, neurotic to the bone, no doubt about it.

I have lost some weight, but it was actually never my goal.  Yeah, I weigh myself multiple times a day, but overall, I'm comfortable with my weight.  What I am focussed on is losing fat.  A year ago, I was hitting nearly 20% body fat, I'm now at 13% that translates to losing 10 pounds of fat, which is funny enough the "weight" I lost.  Not to brag, but that is really quite remarkable... to lose 10 pounds and have it all fat and not any muscle mass.

As I get older, I come to the realization that I have choices to make.  On one hand, I could eat what I want without a care in the world, or in the other, eat what I need to live a healthier, fuller life.

First off, a bit of background on me.

For years, I've eaten awful.  Never a concern in the world about all the crap that goes inside me.  I used to get excited when McDonald's coupons came in the mail and I'd go through the apartment recycle box to pick up some extras.  Two Quarter Pounders, fries and wash it down with some Coke... yummy!!

This type of thinking isn't one summer, one year, or even a decade.  It was a lifetime.  In Grade 3 I would order 3 hot dogs at school, with the teacher asking me if it was for a younger sibling... um, no.  Chocolate and pop were also mainstays of my diet.

But I happened upon a book, that just seemed to make sense to me.  Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food: An Eater's Manifesto  To summarize, he says real food (i.e. not the prepackaged stuff at the supermarkets, which he labels as "edible foodlike substances") is more difficult to come by, more expensive to purchase, and more difficult to prepare.  However, it is necessary to enrich our lives, enlarge our sense of what it means to be healthy, and bring pleasure back to eating.

Nowhere in the book does he suggest eliminating animal meat.  Reducing, yes, but not eliminate.  That was of my own doing.  Since I am a very binary, I didn't want to limit animal products since the word "limit" is way too arbitrary.  I know some people that morally eliminate red meat.  I find it odd that it's okay to eat a chicken, but not okay to consume marshmallows (eg. gelatin) or heme iron (i.e. required for her health).  For me, I chose instead to eliminate all animal meats, but eggs.  I have some reservations on fish, but instead of it being strictly a moral decision, I decided to eliminate it on my concerns with overfishing and the huge repercussions that we are likely to suffer.

Was it hard?  Not really.  I tell myself, I want to see my family and loved ones for as long as I can.  If that means making small sacrifices, like what I eat, to make that happen, then it's worth it.

Here's some my thoughts/advice:

1. Start off slow, flirt with a healthier eating.  Don't purchase the 5 pound bag of alfalfa sprouts on day 1.  Start with small changes in a healthier direction.
2. Minimize the portion of animal meats to a couple of finger sized portions, while bulking up on the vegetables.
3. Make sure you have plenty of your favourite fruits around all the time.  Given a choice of eating some chips or going to the store to buy an apple, the easy to access chips are going to win every time.
4. As a runner, I don't worry to much about consuming too much carbs, but I do try to avoid simple ones (i.e. white bread, pop, etc.).  I'm anti-Atkins.
5. Reduce unnecessary fat.  I like cream in coffee and peanut butter and that's only some of my vices.  But I do stick with tomato sauces for my pasta and mix in egg whites when possible.
6. Watch Food Inc.  

I view losing fat/weight as a bonus to what I hope is a longer, healthier life.  A bonus in terms of letting me run faster/longer/better. I honestly don't know if this lifestyle choice is going to let me live longer.  I hope. I'll let you know when I'm on my deathbed ;)

"Eat food, not too much, mostly plants." - M Pollan

Inevitable

Just 5 weeks until Vancouver Marathon.

I find myself in as much discomfort as last week after doing something innocuous... buckling my daughter's ski boots.

While I know I'm healing, I also know that I am far from feeling good.  I went for a run.  Wanted it slow and easy, to build my base back up.  But I'm still having issues with hard breathing.  I don't know if I'm going to be able to get many +30k runs in between now and race day.  I'm content with my speed, but not at all happy about the miles I haven't done.  

Life is so unpredictable.

On a slightly unrelated note, a friend recently said to me, "XXX was inevitable."  I replied, "what does inevitable mean?"  (Yes, I do know what it means).  The friend went on to say, that there was only ever going to be the one conclusion.

I don't like that.

I don't believe in inevitable.

I don't believe in destiny.

I suppose in life, if something was inevitable, what would we do differently?  I'd think, everything.

Instead we are fortunate that nothing in life is inevitable.  Take running for instance, especially a marathon distance, there are so variables.

Training is all about minimizing the bad, while enforcing the good.  We train for months and try to prepare our bodies for the 26 miles, but then it all may boil down to how much water we drank, how we slept or something as silly as wearing cotton socks instead of "tech" ones, which is a true story of a friend that ended up with blisters and bloody feet :P

So when I hear "inevitable", I think back of the days when I was one of the slowest kids in PE.  I'm sure many thought it'd be inevitable I'd stay the slowest.  I'm no speed demon now, but I can certainly hold my own.  But I'm not out to prove to those people or anyone, I'm out to prove to myself.

I'll end with a nice inevitable quote:  "At first, dreams seem impossible, then improbable, and eventually inevitable." - C Reeve

Calvin and Hobbes

I laid back this week. No running. I feel good most of the time, but sneezing and coughing can make me sweat with pain.

Bev, invited me to the Long Table @ The Irish Heather. Not one to turn down a delicious meal with good company I said "yes". As luck would have it, John Hill was also invited. John espoused some of his nuggets of wisdom. "Running is different from most other sports. It takes no skill, it's just how much pain you can endure." Also, on a (partially) unrelated note, he said I should take some ibuprofen and then go for a long run on the weekend. Yikes!

So I did. It went well, well, maybe not well, but better than I thought. My innards bouncing hurt, but what really hurt was deep breathing, with the hills being the real test. I'm not a "hills" person at the best, but add the lung expansion and contraction, you get "owwie!!!"

I try to take this in stride. How lucky am I that I can run, with only a little discomfort. TLT told me about a funeral she was at last week, male, 43 years old, two kids. That's me.

TLT asked, "why do you want to live longer?" I said, "I don't want to live longer grasping on to life. I want to live life."

Sure I'm riding a wave of mid-life crisis fitness, but with a history of father, grandfather, and great-grandfather not making it beyond 70, I've got less days in front of the cart than behind.

I remember telling Fil, many times, I'd be happy, just so long as I have my memories. But when I see the ravages of Parkinson's on my friend's father, I'm no longer thinking that. Sure memories are important, but I don't want them of watching the latest sitcom, I want memories of people, places and experiences that make me richer, that fill me with the excitement and passion.

A lot has happened to me since I made the original statement to Fil. As Calvin said to Hobbes, "It's a magical world, let's go exploring."

Running Tunes

(Note: This posting was supposed to come out before Setbacks... Again!)

I generally don't listen to music when I run. I enjoy the purity of getting attuned to my body and the different sensations that go through it. Appreciating the moment. However, the last few weekends, I've been away, and needed to resort to treadmilling for my longer runs.

Running on a treadmill is nothing like the outdoors. I'd take a nasty day running outside than inside on a treadmill. But sometimes, running on the same spot for 2 hours is more convenient than finding a 12 mile route around Sun Peaks at 8PM.

On my iPod, I have a variety of songs, most of them are pretty fast paced, but occasionally I'll throw in a slow one, for a change. But the one constant of my songs are the lyrics. I love songs that tell a story or have something deeper to offer than a good beat.

My All-Time Top Running Songs:

Bleed it Out - Linkin Park: I gotta admit, the lyrics aren't about running, they're actually about writing a song(?!?) But with lines like "I bleed it out, digging deeper just to throw it away" and "F*ck this hurts, I won't lie, doesn't matter how hard I try", how can a runner not like this song?

Mr Brightside - The Killers: This song is very special to me. RVM played this song as I started my inaugural marathon. I originally thought part of the lyrics were "I just can't run, it's killing me", so I was relieved to find out it was look. It's a great story nonetheless, two-word synopsis: unrequited love. I have a thing for sad/depressing songs and this one, despite the good running beat, fits the bill. Oh, and I love to sing this for Rock Band.

Brilliant Disguise - Bruce Springsteen: This is a weird one. It's fairly slow, but I just love the story. I remember when Springsteen engaged, married, and divorced Julianne Phillips. The story starts off with woman that on the outside shows what everyone expects her to be, a loving wife, but she is having doubts about her marriage/love. But then the story takes a bit of a turn, when he, admits he is living the lie and has the same doubts.

Kryptonite - 3 Doors Down: Similar to Bleed it Out, this one has nothing to do with running hard and/or being Superman, it's a about drug addiction. But nonetheless, I like to fool myself about the lyrics and apply them to my run.

I change up my tunes from time to time. For instance, right now I have a bunch of Green Day (She, makes honourable mention) and Maroon 5 (Won't Go Home Without You). While I'm far from being a iPod listening runner, I do recognize they have a time and place. "If I ever am a hypocrite, it only proves I am still thinking." - Gordon S

Setback... Again!!!

If you've been following my blog, you'll know that for the last 5 weeks or so, I've had a tough time putting in consecutive weeks of mileage. Cold/flu/calf/Whistler/Sun Peaks, but it all was all coming to a head and there seemed to be a clearing. Well almost...

This past weekend we stayed at Sun Peaks from Thursday - Sunday. While I was looking forward to the fun snowboarding weekend, I was also looking forward to having the end so that I could start my regularly scheduled running.

I suppose this is where planning doesn't help. I'm a planner. I made plans for a sub 3:40 VIM, but then I get it yanked from under my feet, literally.

I was racing my snowboard trying to play catchup and I cut a gate too close. But instead of falling like I have a hundred times before, I fell hard on the side of my ribs, I sat on the snow and couldn't breathe. I thought for a moment that I'd be blacking out. But after awhile, I was able to do short gasps. I figured I was going to live and had only bruised my ribs. 3-4 weeks for recovery!

This is the second time in a few months where I have been dealt a major setback.

It's challenging for me to deal with... making plans for a goal, seeing it in my sights, but then have it yanked away just as I get near it.

I hurt. I hurt when I walk, shower, or even sleep. I don't know when I'll be running again. But one thing I do know, I will get up, brush the self-pity off myself and enjoy what life has to offer. So for planning, maybe I'll take a piece of a Bushism: "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me... You can't get fooled again."

Gattaca

I love watching movies. Funny, action, fantasy, or even an occasional girly movie like Julie & Julia. One of my favourite movies is Gattaca. It is a story, set in the future, where parents can engineer the DNA of their child to make them more or less perfect. Most parents then decide to make their children perfect, but not all. One of the normal kids, Vincent, grows up and is relegated to second class status. His brother Anton, on the other hand is engineered. What Anton can't understand is why he always loses in their swimming contests, which is to swim out as far and fast as they can in the open water. Vincent answers, "You want to know how I did it? This is how I did it, Anton: I never saved anything for the swim back."

That's what I felt like after my last tempo run. Three weeks ago, JH assigned me 9 miles at 7:45 pace. I didn't hit it. I finished at a 7:47 pace. I hadn't done a tempo since, so when I received my new homework and saw 11 miles @ 7:45, I was anxious. Friday was a beautiful cool day and I managed to eek out a successful run. But In the end, I was pretty exhausted. I felt just like Vincent.

That's been my running philosophy...

"Wherever you go, go with all your heart" Confucius

Setbacks

I'm sick and tired.

Literally. The past couple of months, I've been dealing with a nagging calf pain. I tried running through it, but it seemed to come back with a vengeance so I broke down and booked an appointment with my physio. I was very relieved to hear him say I had a build up of fluid and I'd need to stop running for a few days and RICE it. I was anticipating a longer downtime, but a few days... no problem.

So I was going to take a bit of time off, but even as I started my rest, I felt a cough coming on. The cough became a cold, which became body aches, stuffy nose, and to top it off, my lower back is hurting so much that it's preventing me sleeping.

It's the Tuesday before the Historic Half Marathon. I'm more sick than healthy. My body hurts, so much so that I had to ask my girls to stop when we walked back home today so I could catch my breath. Not the stuff of PBs.

It'll be 3 weeks since I have been able to run. I had a great taper planned, based on some new strategy. I'm a little saddened, that I won't be able to run the race of my life, but having said that, I am determined that I'l go out and race the best that I can do.

The Olympics are a treat to watch... especially since it's going on in our backyard. Jenn Heil was the picture of class. Many favoured her to win Gold for the Women's freestyle. She had a great run but finished in second. After the race, the CTV reporter asked how she felt losing the Gold, she replied that she won the Silver. She went on to say how she was boosted by the fan support. In short, just a great athlete and role-model.

--

I am back from racing the Historic Half... PB all the way!! :)

I went out at a conservative pace and slowly chipped away and finished my first Half at sub 1:50, heck, it was a sub 1:49 at 1:48:42. I'm happy. I'm happy I put myself out there and risked a non-spectacular run.

I'll end with another quote:

"The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy." MLK Jr