Looking Good... Not Quite

Almost there... two sleeps away...


I bought new runners, Asics 2150's.  I'm hoping the new runners will make me run faster.  Well no, not really, but at least they are nice and shiny ;)


When I'm racing, I know I don't look very good.  I try to pay attention to my form, but aside from that, my face is usually covered with salt, sweat stains going down my back and road grime running up my legs.  I've seen enough of my race photos to know, when the going gets rough, I'm not very pretty.


Some people take great pics.  A friend, Joe, has a fantastic one where he is smiling directly at the camera while pointing with both hands in pseudo-gun fashion (looks a lot cooler than I can describe).  Wynne is a poseur.  She always takes great pictures, especially crossing the finish line.


Even when I try to look cool, I fail.  The first time I raced RVM, when I crossed the finish line I put my arms up in celebration.  Little did I know that after 4+ hours of my arms going back and forth, raising them was the last thing they wanted to do.  It hurt more than running the 26 miles.


For my last marathon, I showed a friend some of my pictures.  He replied, "I thought you'd dress better."  I didn't know I ever dress better, I just wear clothes so I don't get arrested for walking around naked.  


When it comes to running, I don't worry too much about what I wear looks like.  I do pay attention to anything that gives me any edge, real or imagined.  Usually it means tech fabrics (compression top), light shorts, and dual layer socks.  I'm fine if that isn't considered "good looking", cause "Function before form" has always been my motto.


With the marathon just around the corner, I'm feeling pretty good about it.  Maybe too good... I'm planning to run with the Sue, who is much faster than me, with the 3:40 bunny, and TLT is planning to start with the 3:45 bunny.  Am I crazy?  Two more sleeps and I'll know for sure :D

Time Machine

I wish things were simple.

I finished up my penultimate clinic run on Wednesday feeling great.  It was the notorious/infamous 2x2mi.  John said I should target a 7:05/mi... I didn't like the sound of that.  A few weeks prior, I did a 2x2, I was nearly a minute/mile slower.

When I managed to actually hit the target, you can understand why I was absolutely thrilled.

It's taken me two months to get back to where I was.

The second 2 miles was tougher, but I was trying to chase Sue down.  Just when I got close, she pulled away.  I think she was teasing me ;)  She's normally much faster and is actually not even in my league... but she's had a couple of injuries that almost brought her down to my level.

Sue is a fantastic runner.  She ran a 1:38, a PB, in the Historic Half, that extrapolates out to a sub-3:30... more than enough for her BQ.  At the time, I told her (semi-)facetiously, that I'd be disappointed if she didn't run a 3:40 for Vancouver.  However, in the coming months she nursed a nagging injury; add on a vacation, and you have the makings of doubt.

She's now targeting RVM for her BQ.

At the end of the clinic run, I mentioned to John, I was having a tough time with pacing for the last couple of tempos.  But he said, tonight's run was proof that I was getting my speed back.  He said I should probably target my race pace to be a bit slower than what my tempo runs used to be.  An 8:15/mi!!!  Now I am really confused.

I like the idea of challenging myself, but I also enjoy pain as much as the next guy (or gal).  An 8:15/mi was my goal 2-3 months ago... before my injuries.  I was thinking more of a 8:35-40 was going to be more realistic.  And this has me quite anxious.  I feel there's a good chance (i.e. 75%) I can manage a 8:35-40/mi pace for the marathon, it won't be easy, but it's within my grasp.  An 8:15 is probably pretty low (i.e. 25%).  But is that my negative self-doubts creeping into my mental calculations?

I understand, few people think they're ever ready for a race.  No matter what, it always seems like you could always use more time to prepare.  But for me, it's honestly a bit different.  A few months ago, I was riding pretty high.  I completed my tempo runs (12 miles at 7:45/mi) and feel I would have been better to race then.

Wouldn't a time machine be great?  Just hit the rewind button and no bruised ribs, no calf injury, and no missed LSDs.  No pain!

I don't like the idea of wimping out, nor do I like the idea of crashing and burning.  John set out my weekend long run... I was supposed to run 14 miles at race pace.  I decided to meet in the middle and run a 8:20/mi, 5 seconds slower than John suggested, but still 15-20 seconds faster than I was originally planning.

Sue ran with me.  An 8:20 fits perfectly for her BQ (which I personally think she has a good chance to do for VIM).  Thankfully as an equalizer, she logged a pre-run of 13km.  Even at that, she was pushing the pace for much of the run.

Obviously, there is no time machine that can erase the past. But I suppose this is what my blog is about.  Not about perfection, but battling through adversity and continue to strive for improvement.

Aside from being cold and wet, I felt pretty strong at the finish of the 14 miles.  Another 12 miles... tough one to answer.

This will be only my second time I've "raced" a marathon.  I've done two previously that I held back on.  I don't like to put myself on the line, but I'm going to do it now... I'll put myself out there and say, yeah, I'm going to target a 3:40 for VIM.

Hitting the Wall

Is this what it feels like to be bonking?

I ran 28km this morning.  It was a great run to Ambleside.  I don't run there very often, so when I do, it's that much more special.  I wish we had time to go to Savary Island Pie Co  but it was still a very enjoyable run.



After coming home and resting a bit, I needed to go for another run.


I promised Ruby I'd take her for a 6km run as part of her Sun Run training.  I really don't like to break a promise, and disappoint my kids.  My word is my bond.  


As we started our run, I cut down on the pace.  I wanted to make sure the run was enjoyable for Ruby, but just as importantly, also for me.  I was pretty tired when we set out.  By about 3km, I started sweating profusely.  By 4km, I'm still sweating and barely making the steps.  We make it to 5km, which just happens to be a school playground.  Ruby wants to play, and at this point, I whole-heartily agree.  We do eventually make it home.  She beats me!


I've been home for 4 hours now, and just beginning to feel good.  


I found I have limits.  I once ran 63kms over a 24 hour period, and I thought I was pretty tough then.  Little did I know, 6km with my daughter would do me in today.

I've Lost My Mojo

I'm pretty passionate about running.  But not today.


I was planning to hook up with Joc and possibly do intervals with her, but for whatever reason, we didn't see each other in the morning.  I ran to UBC's track to do my 8x800m, only to find a bunch of kids "using" it.  I did one 800m and was on the second lap of the 2nd when I felt bleh and decided to call it.


I tried to run home, but even then I just couldn't muster the energy and walked for probably half of it.


WTH?


I realize I can't have good days all the time.  When I do have a bad run, I am usually tired.  I've never been healthy and rested and been overwhelmed with apathy.  I constantly preach being either in or out, I despise indifference and here I find I'm wallowing in it.


I need to get my mojo back.  Tomorrow, I'm pulling out all stops, I'm going to run intervals at my favourite spot, Stanley Park, hoping it'll spark something inside me.


Not as inspirational as my other quotes, but applicable nonetheless:


"You know, what have we learned here today? Perhaps it's that no one can take your mojo. You can look around all you want, but what you're really trying to find is on the inside. Take care of yourself, and each other." - J Springer from Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me


--
Update (Friday, April 16): I went to Stanley Park to do my intervals and despite a rocky start, I found it :D

Ifs and Buts

I don't know about you, but there's some things that can always make me laugh or smile.  The word "jugdish" cracks me up.  I smile when I see a bunch of sunflowers.  And it's definitely hard to be mad when drinking bubble tea /w pearls, of course.


Then there's post-races....


Most people, don't run races to their expectations, and will want to explain, why they failed.  Some are funny, "I would have done better but it was a really hilly course" for a race that is nearly flat except for an elevation loss.  Then there's the neighbour's noisy dog, the boyfriend kept calling, etc.  You need to stand there, with a near stoic expression, then nod your head, before turning away and laughing.


While some explanations are sad, "course marshal directed me the wrong way" or "I really needed to go to the washroom".


Regardless, I say, hold your head up high.


For the most part, we're weekend warriors.  Sure we train in the middle of the week, but none of us do this professionally our experience with any particular run is probably limited to less than 2 or 3 times, and most will be very lucky to have raced more than a handful of marathons (ie Bev).  It's hard to know how you're going to feel on race day and how the many variables will play a roll on what's a good pace.


On a recent tempo run, I told Fil I'd be back home in about 2 hours, 2.5 hours if it goes bad, but if I'm not home in 3 hours, I'm dead.  When VIM is over, good or bad, I know I won't have any excuses.  I don't want to finish and have any regrets.  For a race, it means, not leaving anything on the table.  No "woulda coulda shoulda's" and certainly no "ifs and buts".

Tapering Psychology

Tapering is a mixture of doubt, anxiety, and a pinch of fear

Saturday was my last long run before VIM.  I was supposed to do 24 miles, but I called it at 20 because I don't want to be in too much pain.  Even at at 20, I had soreness in my leg, the area below my calf, but above my Achilles.  I haven't been able to log a lot of miles with my bruised ribs.  Although, thankfully, I'm mostly healed.  A little sore doing chin-ups or push-ups, but at least I can sneeze without keeling over in pain.


CM, was my running partner for the Saturday run.  We were planning on doing 20 miles together, but she was having serious hip flexor issues, so by the 10mi marker I suggested it would probably better if she rests rather than forcing 24 miles.  Any running at this point has extremely marginal benefits.  Yet she kept on insisting she needed to run 24.

It's kinda funny, we train to build up a pretty good tolerance to physical pain, but nothing for the emotional side.  And running is all mental.  Did CM really need to run 24?  Hardly.  But for her mental edge, she thinks/thought she did.

My self doubt is this, do I set a goal for VIM?  I'm a bit confused.  Originally it was to get a sub-4, but that doesn't seem challenging anymore.  My tempo runs showed (note past tense) I was on a pace to run to a 3:36(!!) which would have been great.  But I'm no longer at that level of conditioning.  Do I even bother to set a goal... afterall, I mentioned in a previous blog that when you set a target and don't meet it, it hurts, not physically but emotionally.  Not sure if I want that pain.


CM and I talked it through.  I'm going to race a sliding schedule.  Go out comfortably and re-evaluate at each of the 5 mile marks and adjust accordingly.  So instead of setting a overall time target, I'm going to run the best that I can.  My real goal though is to have nothing left at the end.  And when it all boils down, if I'm completely drained, regardless of time, I'll be ecstatic.

Foot in the Door

Some friends asked me if I would consider training them.


They have been running for awhile but want to take it to the next level.  I said, I can help ;)

A have some caveats/concerns and I'm sure they do to.  

First off, I showed them this blog, to let them have some insight into my running mindset (i.e. how committed/insane I am).  I take pride when I help people develop.  Even from back in my corporate days, I enjoyed mentoring young people.  But I recognize I can get pretty focussed at times and put blinders on.  For instance, I view Boston as a project.  Timelines, Gantt charts, and critical paths are all part of my planning... not really, but sorta, since they are in my head.

Secondly, I will have to let them know of my last trainee, she was my greatest success as well as my greatest failure.  I helped get a friend from a 4:30 marathon (actual) to a sub-4 (calculated) which would have been her BQ.  I was feeling very good about myself.  But then things went astray when she started having leg/knee issues that stopped her training cold.  I'm not sure if my training schedule was too difficult or she had a predisposition.  Whatever, I'll take full responsibility for not being more empathetic and pulling back more on the training.  I recognize that my nature is a touch hardcore and I enjoy pushing myself and may occasionally project that on others.  I know I have to pull back on expectations.

Finally, as I said to them.  I'm not looking for someone that wants to dip their toes in the water.  "Do or do not, there is no try".  I plan to devote my time and energy to help them get their running goals, I'd expect no less in return.  I expect 3 days running per week.  Sure not every week, I realize life happens, but that should be exception.  Three days provides a strong base as well as time to develop.

After reading and discussing, if they are still willing, I'd be more than happy.


I'm stoked.

Kryptonite

I recently called someone my Kryptonite.


She would flip-flop on her decisions and that just drained me.


That got me thinking...


My clinic run on Wednesday was my first Kryptonite run.  It was 2x2mi, my normal pace is somewhere around 7:00-7:10/mi.  So taking into account my hurt ribs, I figured, I'd be good for a 7:30.  Went out pretty strong, but when the breathing got heavy I found myself holding my breath instead.  I fought the last mile just to eek out a 7:37.  Grace commented that I was leaning to my side as I ran.  On the second mile, I decided that I'd take it down a notch to ensure I had my form.  Even at the slower 7:55, I had to fight that.


I was running very slowly back chatting to another injured (but recently recovered) runner and we were saying how humbling today's run was.


With a month to go before Vancouver, I know I have my work cut out for me.


Friday's weather was cool, rainy and windy (i.e. "wind warning in effect").  Time for my second Kryptonite run, the dreaded Tempo.


I was able to hold a 8:15 pace (which is down :30 from my normal) but only ran 10.3mi of the 11.  At this point though my hands had lost all feeling and I was still about 3 miles from home.  Now, I've gone on cold runs before, I've gone on wet runs before, I've even gone on windy runs... but rarely all 3.  There wasn't much of an option, I just had to suck it up and run, albeit slowly, back home.  By the time I got home, my hands were frozen.  I soaked them in water, that I think was warm/hot, but in hindsight, I couldn't feel it.  After 10 minutes, I was finally able to wiggle my fingers.


I hated running today, I've never been so cold.  I was texting CM.  She is/was planning for a run today too.  I told her not to.


However, when I consider what I did, I'm happy.  I knew it was going to be a challenging run, but I went out and put up a fight.  I lost, but I'd still do it again.


Without Kryptonite, things would be too easy.  I need these challenges that get in my face and say, "I dare you".  I know I'm a better runner because of it.


"Between safety and adventure, I choose adventure." - C Ferguson